Sunday, October 24, 2010

When life gives you aaloo.. make french fries!


I was conducting a session on POSITIVE ATTITUDE at a Consultancy Firm's Training Centre.

I held a 1000 Rupee Note in my hand. In the room of 20, I asked. "Who would like this Rs. 1000/- bill?"
Hands started going up. I said, "I am going to give this Rs. 1000/- to one of the participants - but first, let me do this."

Then I crumpled the 1000-rupees note and asked. "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.
Well," I replied, "what if I do this?" I dropped it on the carpet and started to grind it into the floor with my shoe. (Though I felt pretty bad after doing that but that was important for delivering the message) I picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

I smiled :)

My message was delivered effectively.

I said, "My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth Rs. 1000/-."

It happens so many time is your life that you are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions you make and obstacles & hurdles that come our way. At that moment we feel we are worthless; but no matter what happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. God has given strengths to all of us. It's all about how much you unleash it to the fullest! And ofcourse if can't avoid what's happening... atleast learn to enjoy it.

You are special and unique- don't ever forget that!

Do checkout the video below.. No matter how much you feel down.. it will get you up!

60 seconds of motivation

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Google Search Tips - Brought to you by Google!

I never knew Google had been this useful!!! Just remember there are a lot of answers God can give you what Google can't!

1. Either/or.

Google normally searches for pages that contain all the words you type in the search box, but if you want pages that have one term or another (or both), use the OR operator  or use the symbol (pipe symbol) to save you a keystroke. [enjoy | the | masti]


If you want to search for an exact phrase, use quotes. [enjoy the masti] will only find that exact phrase. [enjoy the masti] will find pages that contain the word enjoy and the exact phrase the masti.

3. Not.

If you dont want a term or phrase, use the - symbol. [-enjoy the masti] will return pages that contain the and masti but that dont contain enjoy.

4. Similar terms.

Use the ~ symbol to return similar terms. [~enjoy the masti -enjoy] will get you pages that contain funny the masti and stupid the masti but not enjoy the masti.

5. Wildcard.

The * symbol is a wildcard. This is useful if youre trying to find the lyrics to a song, but cant remember the exact lyrics. [cant * me love lyrics] will return the Beatles song youre looking for. Its also useful for finding stuff only in certain domains, such as educational information: [enjoy the masti research *.edu].

6. Advanced search.

If you cant remember any of these operators, you can always use Googles advanced search.

7. Definitions.

Use the define: operator to get a quick definition. [define:enjoy] will give you a whole host of definitions from different sources, with links.

8. Calculator.

One of the handiest uses of Google, type in a quick calculation in the search box and get an answer. Its faster than calling up your computers calculator in most cases. Use the +, -, *, / symbols and parentheses to do a simple equation.

9. Numrange.

This the-known feature searches for a range of numbers. For example, [best books 2002..2007] will return lists of best books for each of the years from 2002 to 2007 (note the two periods between the two numbers).

10. Site-specific.
Use the site: operator to search only within a certain website. [ leo] will search for the term leo only within this blog.

11. Backlinks.

The link: operator will find pages that link to a specific URL. You can use this not only for a main URL but even to a specific page. Not all links to an URL are listed, however.

12. Vertical search.

Instead of searching for a term across all pages on the web, search within a specialized field. Google has a number of specific searches, allowing you to search within blogs, news, books, and much more:

* Blog Search
* Book Search
* Scholar
* Catalogs
* Code Search
* Directory
* Finance
* Images
* Local/Maps
* News
* Patent Search
* Product Search
* Video

13. Movies.

Use the movie: operator to search for a movie title along with either a zip code or U.S. city and state to get a list of movie theaters in the area and show times.

14. Music.

The music: operator returns content related to music only.

15. Unit converter.

Use Google for a quick conversion, from yards to meters for example, or different currency: [12 meters in yards]

16. Types of numbers:

Google algorithms can recognize patterns in numbers you enter, so you can search for:
* Telephone area codes
* Vehicle ID number (US only)
* Federal Communications Commission (FCC) equipment numbers (US only)
* UPC codes
* Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) airplane registration number (US only)
* Patent numbers (US only)
* Even stock quotes (using the stock symbol) or a weather forecast regarding the next five days

17. File types.

If you just want to search for .PDF files, or Word documents, or Excel spreadsheets, for example, use the filetype: operator.

18. Location of term.

By default, Google searches for your term throughout a web page. But if you just want it to search certain locations, you can use operators such as inurl:, intitle:, intext:, and inanchor:. Those search for a term only within the URL, the title, the body text, and the anchor text (the text used to describe a link).

19. Cached pages.

Looking for a version of a page the Google stores on its own servers? This can help with outdated or update pages. Use the cached: operator.

20. Answer to life, the universe, and everything.

Search for that phrase, in lower case, and Google will give you the answer.

Happy Googling Folks.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Unity Faith Dicipline - Golden Principles of Jinnah

One of my cousin’s 4 year old daughter went to her father and said, "You and Mama don't give me anything! You just spend on my education, give me food to eat & clothes to wear! Look at Aunty who lives in the neighbourhood, she gives her children candies to eat and they also go to tuition centres!"

Today if you ask, what do like about Pakistan, a lot of people might say “not much”. Isn’t our behaviour is like the same little girl. Our country does not give us candy? Its hard to accept but we are becoming an ungrateful nation in the given conditions of the country (I won’t dig the details because you see it hear it everyday what's happening around us in the economy, politics, sports, and society). 

At this point the thought to ponder is "Khuda uss qaum ki halat nahi badalta jab tak wo apni halat khud nahi badalte." I think its about time that we should stop playing the blame game and try to change ourselves 1st. How many of us stop at a red light or don't bribe a cop or try to get free in a concert or are not trying to cut corners in taxing, or stealing water or electricity, even flood relief goods are stolen and sold in the market! 

We must not forget the sacrifices, the efforts and endeavours our ancestors made to get this country and above all let’s not forget the 3 principles – Unity, faith and Discipline.

We are a nation who can fight with each other over anything - whether its over religion, politics, family issues, even in a routine cricket match. Maybe that's just because we are an emotional nation. Thats the point where Unity comes into play. As a nation We all are Pakistanis. Its about time racism and riots should be set aside and the nation needs to stand under one flag!

Faith makes you stronger. No matter to what religion we belong to.. most of us don't have strong faith. We need to have faith in God, we need to have faith in our abilities. We need to stay positive. We need to see the brighter side of the picture if we want to change our present!

Discipline is something we badly lack. This is something I had explicitly discussed in my previous post "From Human Beings to being Human" 

After every dark night, there is always a bright shiny day we must remember that as a Nation.
Lets embrace Unity, Faith Discipline in our lives in true letter and spirit and stand out as a prominent nation in the world.

Long Live Pakistan.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The “All you can eat” fever!

Yess I’m back with a discussion on a fever which is almost over with the end of Ramazan.  I’m not very much into economics but I do remember the basic Law of diminishing marginal utility my eco teacher taught me which stipulates:

“A law of economics stating that as a person increases consumption of a product there is a decline in the marginal utility(The additional satisfaction a consumer gains) that a person derives from consuming each additional unit of that product.”

My eco teacher shared a basic example for this law: If I’m thirsty and its hot out there, I would want a chilled bottle of coke. When I drink a bottle of coke, I'll gain some utility. Ahhh yes I want more. When I will drink another bottle of coke, I will gain more utility but on a lower scale because the second bottle won’t be much refreshing as the 1st one. And If I continue doing that, there will be a stage where my utility will become negative and it would yield disutility and I would be rushing to the washroom.

If you think for a moment, Aha.. That’s the ground on which buffet-style restaurants operate. They entice you with "all you can eat deals," while knowing each additional plate of food provides less utility than the one before.

Although Buffet restaurants continue on the same approach throughout the year, but in the month of Ramazan, most of Ala Carte restaurants also start offering all you can eat iftar+dinner. This Ramazan I also caught the same fever of all you can eat. After visiting Rangoli, Lal Qila, Shan e Mughlia, student biryani etc. the most crowded place I found was Pizza Hut where all you can eat and drink for Rs 700 (600+Tax). I noticed people of all ages were there at Pizza Hut to fill their appetite after whole day fast. 

Being a rational consumer we calculate, value for money  on our every spend. Driven by our sense of value. Similarly, at pizza hut Everyone would be calculating how much slices should he or she must have to make the deal worth it. If I recall  that deal started off for Rs 250+tax  which  is now offered for Rs  600+tax. If you ask me the max slice I ate so far is eight with three glasses of drink. But I'm cool with that.

When we're spending 700 rupees for all you can eat pizza, we forget the taste has to be that good as well. But the taste is not the same either nor the service. At times there is too much gap in one serving that you decide that you're done. I remember my last year experience with Ahsan came back from Kuwait, I was actually served four slices in the given time!

Another side of the picture, where there are people in our country who don’t even have food to eat, we see loads of pizza’s getting wasted where people just eating the topping discarding the crust just to claim eating 25 slices to “make the deal worth it and to save stomach space”  If you came all the way to pizza hut just to eat cheeze, you could have grabbed cheese slices from a store and saved your time and money!

This is how the law of diminishing marginal utility works. You go to a pizza hut and the first slice of pizza you eat is very good. On a scale of ten you would give it a ten. After 3 slices, your hunger has been somewhat under control, but you get another slice. Since you're not as hungry, your enjoyment rates declines to seven at best. Most people would stop before their utility drops even more, but hey..  you gotta have the value for your money and your greed makes you want more so grab more slices and your utility drops even more to three. If you keep eating, you would eventually reach a point at which your eating makes you sick, providing dissatisfaction, or 'dis-utility.' The ultimate result, puking, stomach aches, bad stomach etc.

The bottom line, All you can eat offers have become just a race and greed for eating more than you can handle instead of a tasteful pleasurable experience pizza hut is known for. I remember my nana abbu used to say "Baita pait hai dozakh nahi k bharay he na"

A similar experience a friend of mine Zubair had at a buffet restaurant, where he spent around Rs 1000, ate hardly for 10 minutes and he was done, which means that buffet cost him Rs 100 per minute experience! You can read his post below:

Monday, September 6, 2010

Journalism Vs Activism

Whoa its been quite sometime I've been off the radar. Yes thank you people for missing me. I was pretty busy in my media ethics assignments and blogging on mediabaithak that I  visit my scribble book for whole month!

Well now I'm back and I promise it was worth the wait. Sharing with you people is a piece I wrote for Media Baithak blog. A lot more is yet to come!

Simply put in an equation:
Journalism – Ethics = Activism

Journalism is a noble profession but sadly, Activist Journalists have choked the dignity of this profession.

Journalism is about reporting of facts. Its about bring out the truth to the people with honesty and responsibility. Its about following certain ethics, it requires objectivity. Its about writing with your heart and passion, not for the money.

There is a fine line difference between journalism and activism. Journalism is about digging and bringing out the facts for the target audience/reader or viewer as the case maybe. It involves investigation and reporting of events, issues, and trends to a broad audience.

Activism is an action or inaction to bring about social or political change or to form an opinion on a certain issue to influence the minds of your reader mostly on a controversial argument. An activist is a person who has his influence over other people because of his charisma and who forms perceptions in the minds of the people through his views.

Living in an age where we see media organisations fighting over each other in the race of TRPs, READERSHIP OR listnership, WE have seen a new breed of journalists... The Activist Journalists.. people who actually journalists but acting like activists! These people are expected to bring the truth on the surface but actually they are giving their own views to the public.

A lot of anchors and hosts have been formulating their own opinions rather than finding or highlighting the solutions from the debates. the main concern comes is about the trust factor. Audience still trusts media which is busy formulating opinions for them. Instead of "I'm going to give you the facts" its "I'm going to give you my views" This ultimately results in a major shift in the society that can ravage people against the govt. laws even.

After the airblue crash, we saw a lot of controversies these activists tried to manipulate, although investigation of concerned authorities was being conducted and nothing documentary evidence was there.

Summing up, media needs to stand under the umbrella of journalist ethics and assume its responsibility very carefully. A journalist looks back in the past and feels proud whereas an activist feels guilty deep down inside for the misuse of his opinions and positions. Journalists must always aim to be removed from the issues they are covering. They must avoid becoming emotionally and politically involved, because once they do they are likely to lose their objectivity. They should provide the basis for a healthy and robust public debate. All journalists will have their own political points of view, but these must never creep into journalism and they must not have any bearing on the choice of stories they cover or the way they cover them.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Lateral Thinking Exercise

This post is in connection to my  previous blog entry on Common Sense. A lot of people asked me to come up with some lateral Thinking Exercises. So I got my hands on one from  Albert Debono's Book "Simplicity"
Be honest and think Unconventionally :)


Q1.    ---------

 Ans. = man overboard

Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.

Q2.    ------------

Ans. = I understand

OK .. . .

Got the drift ?

Let's try a few now and see

how you fare ?

Q3.    /r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/

Ans. = reading between the lines

Q4.      r

Ans. = cross road -->

Not having a good day now, are you ?

Redeem yourself.

Q5.      cycle

Ans. = tricycle

That was an easy one to figure out no??

Q6.      ---------

Ans.. = two degrees below zero

C'mon give it a little thought! !

Q7.      ------------

Ans. = neon light

( knee - on - light )

U can prove u r smart by getting this one.

Q8.                      ------------ ---
                  feet feet feet feet feet feet

Ans. = six feet underground


Oh no, not again ! !

Q9.    he's X  himself

Ans. = he's by himself

Now u messing up big time.

Q10.      ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance

Not even close! !

Q11.      death ..... life

Ans. = life after death

Okay last chance ............ ......

Q12.     THINK

Ans. = think big ! !

And the last one is real fundoo - - -
ababaaabbbbaaaabbbb ababaabbaaabbbb. ..

Ans. =  long time no 'C' -->

The Instant Ewww!

Thank you for appreciating the insightful post of “Seven Habits of Highly Ineffective Guys” I have been counseling my friends on relationship issues for quite some time and I found a common mistake those guys were making. 

But 1st you need to read this story I’m going to tell you. It may sound familiar to you!

A friend of mine was attracted to his newly joined colleague in his department. I’m one of those people who don’t believe in love at 1st Sight.  It just sounds insane to me that you’re falling for someone you barely know. So I told my friend it was just infatuation for him and he will get over it. Plus, it’s not easy to maintain a relationship with someone you are working with. It creates conflict of interest and hampers work and personal life balance.

But as the time passed and the more he got to know her, the more he began to feel attracted to her... which turned into an emotional attachment.

One fine evening, we met at the bowling alley; he explained a problem to me. He was getting insecure because he couldn't tell whether or not she felt the same way towards him.

I asked him did you ever ask her how she feels about you. He said no but she said things like, "You are so important person" and "I'm glad that you're in my life”

I said dude that means she just wants to be friends with you. I will suggest don’t push it. Don’t 
rush into things just like that because you don’t want to end up in a situation where she slaps a restraining order on you.

After spending many sleepless nights he arrived at the conclusion that, if she only knew how he felt, she would feel the same way. So, he made a bold move and told her how he felt.

What happened then? I asked while sipping doodh patti at a dhaba. He said I confessed that I was in love and that I would do anything to be with her.  She looked at me and smiled. (Which was not followed by a punch because actions speak louder than words)

She said I do respect your feelings but…I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're too important to me...."

My poor friend just didn't know how to take it...

He was confused:
Did it mean that she really loved him too, but that she was afraid of something? Or Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long term relationship?
Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that she was trying to give him a hint?
Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough?

He said to me that he finally decided that he couldn't take it anymore... he had to be with her no matter what happens.

He wrote a long descriptive email and sent it to her corporate inbox. (Another Blunder)
She didn't reply. He tried to talk to her, she was avoiding him. Whenever he called her on weekends She made excuses about being busy with the family and said "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have to go.. mom’s calling me in the kitchen"... and disconnected the call.

He never got a call back as expected. She resigned from his office. Got married afterwards in a couple of months and didn’t even invite her best friend at work on her wedding.

Moral of the story: If a woman isn't attracted to you, all of your attempts to impress her, to confess your love, to convince her to like you will always BACKFIRE! Yes Backfire! It's going to trigger a feeling that Relationship Experts call "The Instant Ewww".

When you hear that sound, mate your game is over and you have just made your case worse. Once a woman feels it, YOU'RE DONE.

Just in case you are wondering where this concept of Instant Ewww came from, observation is a very powerful tool if utilized effectively ;)

A lot of females use the word "Ewww" when describing something gross or something they found extremely exasperating e.g. how she felt about a guy she hated the most or barely know confessed his love.

It’s a simple rule of thumb. When you want to see other people’s perspective, put yourself in their shoes. In case of women, put yourself in their high heel sandals. You will see that they like you when you’re acting sweet but the moment you confess something before the right time, the whole scenario will change. She will start feeling uncomfortable and repulsive.

I’m not saying that you should give up from the beginning. But you need to keep in mind that everything happens at the right time. If she’s meant for you, you are going to get her. If she’s not, you will lose everything you had with her.

Men make this mistake over and over again in life because they're doing what makes sense to them. If they do what makes sense to the other person, they might change the plot. Instead of making someone a friend and then trying to make her like you is certainly not a good idea. Attraction has to be created from the very beginning and attraction is very subjective when it comes to women.

I know it sucks when you do all the effort and it backfires but I hope that by explaining the process of how this happens, I'll help you to avoid this painful situation in the future. Good Luck Romeos.

Friday, July 2, 2010

QuacK Quack Team work lessons!

When we talk about team work, we can find thousands of books, articles, and videos but if we take a look around we will find perfect examples of teamwork around us. Take Geese for example. Milton Olson a Geologist for national geographic channel observed their behaviour and came up with 5 lessons of teamwork we as humans can learn from these birds!


As each goose flaps its wings it creates an "uplift" for the birds that follow. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.


People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.


When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.


If we have as much sense as a goose we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.


When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into formation and another goose flies to the point position.


It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on each other's skills, capabilities and unique arrangements of gifts, talents or resources.


The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.


We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one's heart or core values and encourage the heart and core of others) is the quality of honking we seek.


When a goose gets sick, wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock.


If we have as much sense as geese, we will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.

~Based on work by Milton Olson

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Use your Common Sense!!!

Common Sense - A sense which is so not Common

“Use some common sense!” We all are used to this statement now. My math teacher used to say that to me when I was in primary grade. And when I used to ask, “Ma’am, can you please tell me what common sense is actually?” she said it’s a sense which is not very common. And I asked again that if its not very common then why do we call it common sense and expect every other person to use it.
In this blog entry, we will take a deep down journey in the valley of common sense and discover the hidden power we already have because no matter how intelligent, efficient or smart we are, we always end up doing dumb things in life. So lets take our discussion further and set down some principles to discover and get used to our old friend Common sense.
I still remember an ex colleague who had this major body odour problem. Its natural you can’t help it. But the only problem is you can’t feel it… but others around you definitely do! Some people in the department forwarded him articles on grooming and stuff. Some suggested sending him to a training session on etiquettes while others were of the opinion of referring the matter to Human Resources. I said why do all that fuss. One day I cornered him during a lunch break and gave him an Antiperspirant and told him the benefits. He said I don’t need this. I said nobody use it for himself/herself. You have to use it for other people. Yet he argued and I had to drop the bomb. I said mate no offence but people make fun of you when pass them and I actually saw people using air freshners after you left their rooms. He was silent and he nodded his head in agreement. He worked for 8 more months with us but we never had the same complaint from him. Moral of the Story: Instead of choosing the typical solutions, common sense can save a lot of effort and cost in terms of time and money.
If I ask you why sweaters are not sold in summers and why ice creams are not consumed much in winters what would be your answer? Obviously you will say Dude use your common sense. So Common sense also requires presence of mind. You need to use your head if you wanna use common sense. But don’t use your head like Archie’s friend Moose did. When he couldn’t solve his math problem on the board, his teacher said MOOSE use your head. Bang! Moose bumped his head in the board and said I don’t see the solution here either. (Chuckles)
A story I had shared in one of my sessions. A company built a new, high-rise corporate headquarters. A few weeks after the building was fully occupied, the employees began to complain about the slowness of the elevators. Very quickly, the complaints reached in large proportions, so the company spoke to the architects of the building. Could the elevators be sped up or increased in size? Sure, came the reply, but it would involve months of demolition, extension, and reconstruction around the elevator shafts.
It would be hugely disruptive to a large part of the workforce. Supposedly, the story goes, the corporation did nothing to the elevator shafts. Instead, it placed full-length mirrors on every floor beside the elevator doors. The employees spent an extra few moments preening themselves and looking at one another in the mirrors and the complaints faded.
The point of the story? Instead of a complicated solution, there is always a simple solution which is answered by common sense.
Now the common sense is something that we can relate to simplicity. The problem with us is that we tend to see issues as they’re complexities like computer systems or Rocket science. So we need to keep things simple. We all think running a business is a rocket science. You will find countless books on this topic with a lot of principles to follow. Apple’s CEO Steve Jobs made it simple: His advice to business men is “Never Run out of Cash” If you think about it.. that is the recipe for successful business.
After this whole discussion, We can sum up the principles of Common sense as follows:
·         Remember the KISS Formula – Keep it Simple Stupid
·         Use LATERAL THINKING – EDWARD De Bono’s Six Thinking Hats
·         Break down the complexities into steps or stages to make it simpler
·         Ask simple questions – When, where, why, which, who and How.
·         Reduce your stress. It minimizes the chances of using common sense
·         Put yourself in other people’s shoes – Those who expect you to use common sense see things from their perspective. If you put yourself in their shoes, you will know their perspective.
·         Presence of mind is the key – Learn to probe things and go deep.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

From Human Beings to being Human!

From Human Beings to being human!

A fine afternoon, I was walking towards the lift when it stopped at my floor during the lunch break. Surprisingly, the person standing next to the control panel pushed the close door button despite of the fact that he saw me coming in. Bang! I got squished between the doors.

Everyone standing in the lift was shocked. Ignoring the scene, I stepped in and my ears were waiting to hear something called “I’m sorry.” The fun part is That person didn’t even feel bad for what he did! I took a deep breath, gave him a smile and said thank you very much!

Has this ever happened to you?

You’re making a run for the lift in the corner as you see people getting into it. As you get nearer and in plain sight of people already inside the lift, the doors of the lift start to close. The person whose finger is pressing on some button inside the lift sees you from the corner of his or her eyes. The look quickly shift downwards or he or she looks away, pretending that he or she never ever saw you rushing to the lift.

You’re short of shouting out “hold the doors” because you can’t due to the panting from the short sprint you made for the lift. As you now come into full sight of people in the lift, magically everyone just can’t see you. The gap of the lift doors become smaller and finally, they completely shut together on your face and you are left there panting like a stupid fool, who now have to wait a minute or two for the next lift. And oh, this always happen when you're running a little late!

Since I was a kid, my parents, grandma, teachers, everyone used to teach me “Manners Matter!” The above incident is just one example where some basic courtesies are overlooked in our work and personal Life. But we seriously need to realize that sometimes small deeds of kindness or polite words can make big difference. Moreover, the way you behave and treat other people reflect your family background and how you are perceived.

Social Responsibility is not just limited to charity or helping the needy. Being a human it’s our basic responsibility to act like humans. Whether you attend a wedding dinner you’ll see a lot of food getting wasted and some push and rush hush or you see people littering here and there even if there are trashcans placed in the parks, the beach etc, whether you’re driving on the road and someone suddenly overtakes you and comes in front without giving the indicator or you’ll see public transport fully loaded with passengers like animals, whether it’s a meeting or a training session where participants are disgracing the speaker by playing with their cell phones, or people chewing snacks while talking to you on the phone or smoking in their offices despite there is a dedicated floor for smokers. And oh I almost forgot. Saying Please, Thank You, taking excuse from others while leaving the lunch/dinner table and being courteous is now considered stuffy or conventional as people now prefer to be arrogant rather than being polite and courteous. “You're so nice to be with!” These words are a fine compliment for anyone to receive. Good manners, those that help people become “nice to be with,” are what etiquette is all about.

Misuse or improper use of Office stationery is also very common in workplaces or making long distant calls using office lines. People also ignore the fact that their body odour / bad breath also gets on the nerves of other people at times. The best way to avoid embarrassment is to use an anti-perspirant or to keep a deodorant or a perfume with you to avoid body odour problems. For bad breath, use mouth fresheners, mint etc.

We all receive visiting cards but how many of us actually acknowledge it after receiving it? At times the other person feels ignored if you just put it in your pocket rather than at least giving it a look.

Again, too much debate if I carry on.. I’ll conclude here with the point "Manners are an indication of character and act as a point of differentiation for a person". "How employees treat each other is a good indication of how they will treat a customer in a stressful situation." The bottom line is that good manners are a reflection of respect for others and without mutual respect it's difficult to work efficiently together.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Seven Mistakes of highly ineffective Guys

"The 7 Most Dangerous Mistakes of highly ineffective guys when it comes to getting along with girls.."

Hello everyone, I kept on thinking where to start my blog from.. there were so many things in my head and finally I decided to start off with a controversial but an eye-opener.

So Here Are The Top 7 Reasons Why Guys Fail With Girls most of the time…

MISTAKE #1: Being
Too Much Of A "Nice Guy"

Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted to "nice" guys?

Of course you have and so did I when I used to be Mr Nice Guy for everyone.

Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends and most of them always seemed to date "jerks"… but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.

Hello.. What's going on here?

Well its not because you are loser. It's actually very simple…

Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.

And guess what?

Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.

And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you. At least in 90% of the cases..

As they say reality bites.. and I learnt this bitter truth through my experience!

Now you must be thinking this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT… but GET OVER IT.

Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with the girl that you want.

Now that doesn’t mean that you should choke the gentleman inside you.. my emphasis is on being Too Much of a nice guy. Don’t be too nice that they start taking you for granted!

MISTAKE #2: Trying To
"Convince Her To Like You"

Everyday I see guys trying to make lame attempts to impress the girls in their surroundings whether it’s a class, street or even at work places!

What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like… but she's just not interested?

Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.


Never, EVER.

You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".

Think about it.

If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her?

But we all do it.

When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.

Bad idea. One that will never work.

MISTAKE #3: Trying To "Buy" Her
Affection With Food And Gifts

How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?

Well guess what?

It's only NATURAL when this happens…

That's right, I said NATURAL.

When you do these things, you send a clear message:

"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection".

Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that most women see this as MANIPULATION.

And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates. Don’t push it too early man! Don’t bat like Shahid Afridi!

This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast… and can't control themselves.

Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.

There's a much better way…

I still remember a hilarious incident when a guy actually presented a bottle of pickle (achaar) to a girl and said, this is specially for you... Will you be my friend!

Dude Give me a break. What on earth is going on!

MISTAKE #4: Not "Getting" How
Attraction Works For Women

Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.

You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a man sees a beautiful, young, and attractive woman, he INSTANTLY feels an attraction.

But does the same apply for women?

Do women feel attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?

Well, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.

Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around?

Think about it.

Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men… and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.

If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman. Confidence matters!

But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.

And ANY guy can learn how…

MISTAKE #5: Thinking That It
Takes Money And Looks

One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started… because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money… or guys who are a certain height… or guys who are a certain age.

And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.

But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks.

There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet…

And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.

YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.

Stop underestimating yourself. What really matters is how make the opposite gender feel while communicating.. its about the comfort level you develop with them.. how much do you listen.. if you’re not a good listener then seriously you are in big trouble…

MISTAKE #6: Not Knowing
EXACTLY What To Do In Each
Type Of Situation With Women

Now I'm going to blow your mind…

A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.

Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.

I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're staring a girl, she already knows and she can tell it by the look on your face!

You need to know her more than you know yourself… you should know what to do on her birthday or on your anniversary. What are the occasions she cherish the most..

You know what I mean!

MISTAKE #7: Not Getting HELP

This is the biggest mistake of all.

This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want.

I know, guys don't like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help.

Again its always good to discuss your issues and problems and seeking their advice. Even if you wanna know about a girl, only another girl can helo you out…

As they say “Behind a successful man there is always a woman”

If you’re a guy reading this.. its about time for a reality check.. and if you are a female reading this… Let me tell you lady this blogpost has been brought to you on explicit request of lots of females out there who really want guys to improve.. so no hard feelings!

I’m hitting the bed.. so much for my 1st post. I’ll keep you posted.