Monday, April 2, 2012

Gossip and back-biting: A Lethal pastime

One fine afternoon I was caught up in work, a colleague of mine came to my desk.
She looked around to see if someone is noticing. After getting satisfied that no one is there to hear what she is about to reveal, she whispers, “hey Owi, pssst.” “Hmmm what’s up”, I said while typing along an email. And then she goes again, “Hey listen I need to tell you something important.”

Realizing the fact that she is not going to let me go until I listen with 100% attention to what she has to say, I decided to pause and kept my hands on the table to show that I was in the listening mode. She exclaimed, “It’s about Sara and Imran.. I just heard that…”
“hey hey hey, wait.” I interrupted. Before you get started about my friends you need to pass a “Socrates’ - Triple Filter Test.”

“Oh come on, I was about to share an interesting gossip with you and you started your philosophy with me again. You’re so boring. Now what is this Tripple Filter Test.” She asked.
“Well Miss BBC, before you break something to me about my friends it would be a good idea if you filter what you are about to say.” I explained.

“Now the 1st filter is the TRUTH FILTER. Are you absolutely sure what you heard about Imran and Sara is truth and nothing but the truth?” I inquired.

“No Shazia was telling Anum and I heard their conversation” She said hesitantly.
I continued, “Aha. So what you were about to tell me may not be 100%. Ok now let’s try the second filter which is the GOODNESS FILTER. What you are about to tell me is good or bad?”

“Umm well.. No it’s not” She said. “Ok so you are telling me something bad about my friends which you are not even sure whether it’s true or not.” I smiled while enjoying the sheepish look on her face. “Ok lets try the third and last filter. After that I may buy you gossip if you pass. The third filter is the filter of USEFULNESS. What you are about to tell me is useful for me or not. What impact will it create on my health?”

“No not really.” She said. “there you go. Thank you very much for coming up with an information that is not true, defaming and has nothing to do with me or you so to speak”  So why share and spread useless piece of gossip behind their back?

As they say Rumour is a monster that runs faster than light. People tend to get attracted towards spreading negativity of others after hearing and witnessing the scenes about the ones they don’t like. The only reason I see is they see their lives less fulfilled than others. Remember my friends this habit is so cynical that it prevents you from seeing the goodness in a person.
If you are a person with a positive mindset you will always see goodness and positivity in everything and in every person. Remember there are bigger battles to fight in life in pursuit of your passion instead of gossiping and back-biting other people. Focus focus focus! And next time you hear a gossip, apply 3 Filter test. It will make your life much much easier. And by the way this test can be applied to any life situation too!  :)