Saturday, April 24, 2010

From Human Beings to being Human!

From Human Beings to being human!

A fine afternoon, I was walking towards the lift when it stopped at my floor during the lunch break. Surprisingly, the person standing next to the control panel pushed the close door button despite of the fact that he saw me coming in. Bang! I got squished between the doors.

Everyone standing in the lift was shocked. Ignoring the scene, I stepped in and my ears were waiting to hear something called “I’m sorry.” The fun part is That person didn’t even feel bad for what he did! I took a deep breath, gave him a smile and said thank you very much!

Has this ever happened to you?

You’re making a run for the lift in the corner as you see people getting into it. As you get nearer and in plain sight of people already inside the lift, the doors of the lift start to close. The person whose finger is pressing on some button inside the lift sees you from the corner of his or her eyes. The look quickly shift downwards or he or she looks away, pretending that he or she never ever saw you rushing to the lift.

You’re short of shouting out “hold the doors” because you can’t due to the panting from the short sprint you made for the lift. As you now come into full sight of people in the lift, magically everyone just can’t see you. The gap of the lift doors become smaller and finally, they completely shut together on your face and you are left there panting like a stupid fool, who now have to wait a minute or two for the next lift. And oh, this always happen when you're running a little late!

Since I was a kid, my parents, grandma, teachers, everyone used to teach me “Manners Matter!” The above incident is just one example where some basic courtesies are overlooked in our work and personal Life. But we seriously need to realize that sometimes small deeds of kindness or polite words can make big difference. Moreover, the way you behave and treat other people reflect your family background and how you are perceived.

Social Responsibility is not just limited to charity or helping the needy. Being a human it’s our basic responsibility to act like humans. Whether you attend a wedding dinner you’ll see a lot of food getting wasted and some push and rush hush or you see people littering here and there even if there are trashcans placed in the parks, the beach etc, whether you’re driving on the road and someone suddenly overtakes you and comes in front without giving the indicator or you’ll see public transport fully loaded with passengers like animals, whether it’s a meeting or a training session where participants are disgracing the speaker by playing with their cell phones, or people chewing snacks while talking to you on the phone or smoking in their offices despite there is a dedicated floor for smokers. And oh I almost forgot. Saying Please, Thank You, taking excuse from others while leaving the lunch/dinner table and being courteous is now considered stuffy or conventional as people now prefer to be arrogant rather than being polite and courteous. “You're so nice to be with!” These words are a fine compliment for anyone to receive. Good manners, those that help people become “nice to be with,” are what etiquette is all about.

Misuse or improper use of Office stationery is also very common in workplaces or making long distant calls using office lines. People also ignore the fact that their body odour / bad breath also gets on the nerves of other people at times. The best way to avoid embarrassment is to use an anti-perspirant or to keep a deodorant or a perfume with you to avoid body odour problems. For bad breath, use mouth fresheners, mint etc.

We all receive visiting cards but how many of us actually acknowledge it after receiving it? At times the other person feels ignored if you just put it in your pocket rather than at least giving it a look.

Again, too much debate if I carry on.. I’ll conclude here with the point "Manners are an indication of character and act as a point of differentiation for a person". "How employees treat each other is a good indication of how they will treat a customer in a stressful situation." The bottom line is that good manners are a reflection of respect for others and without mutual respect it's difficult to work efficiently together.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Seven Mistakes of highly ineffective Guys

"The 7 Most Dangerous Mistakes of highly ineffective guys when it comes to getting along with girls.."

Hello everyone, I kept on thinking where to start my blog from.. there were so many things in my head and finally I decided to start off with a controversial but an eye-opener.

So Here Are The Top 7 Reasons Why Guys Fail With Girls most of the time…

MISTAKE #1: Being
Too Much Of A "Nice Guy"

Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted to "nice" guys?

Of course you have and so did I when I used to be Mr Nice Guy for everyone.

Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends and most of them always seemed to date "jerks"… but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.

Hello.. What's going on here?

Well its not because you are loser. It's actually very simple…

Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.

And guess what?

Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.

And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you. At least in 90% of the cases..

As they say reality bites.. and I learnt this bitter truth through my experience!

Now you must be thinking this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT… but GET OVER IT.

Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with the girl that you want.

Now that doesn’t mean that you should choke the gentleman inside you.. my emphasis is on being Too Much of a nice guy. Don’t be too nice that they start taking you for granted!

MISTAKE #2: Trying To
"Convince Her To Like You"

Everyday I see guys trying to make lame attempts to impress the girls in their surroundings whether it’s a class, street or even at work places!

What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like… but she's just not interested?

Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.


Never, EVER.

You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".

Think about it.

If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her?

But we all do it.

When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.

Bad idea. One that will never work.

MISTAKE #3: Trying To "Buy" Her
Affection With Food And Gifts

How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?

Well guess what?

It's only NATURAL when this happens…

That's right, I said NATURAL.

When you do these things, you send a clear message:

"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection".

Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that most women see this as MANIPULATION.

And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates. Don’t push it too early man! Don’t bat like Shahid Afridi!

This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast… and can't control themselves.

Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.

There's a much better way…

I still remember a hilarious incident when a guy actually presented a bottle of pickle (achaar) to a girl and said, this is specially for you... Will you be my friend!

Dude Give me a break. What on earth is going on!

MISTAKE #4: Not "Getting" How
Attraction Works For Women

Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.

You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a man sees a beautiful, young, and attractive woman, he INSTANTLY feels an attraction.

But does the same apply for women?

Do women feel attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?

Well, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.

Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around?

Think about it.

Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men… and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.

If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman. Confidence matters!

But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.

And ANY guy can learn how…

MISTAKE #5: Thinking That It
Takes Money And Looks

One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started… because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money… or guys who are a certain height… or guys who are a certain age.

And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.

But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks.

There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet…

And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.

YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.

Stop underestimating yourself. What really matters is how make the opposite gender feel while communicating.. its about the comfort level you develop with them.. how much do you listen.. if you’re not a good listener then seriously you are in big trouble…

MISTAKE #6: Not Knowing
EXACTLY What To Do In Each
Type Of Situation With Women

Now I'm going to blow your mind…

A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.

Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.

I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're staring a girl, she already knows and she can tell it by the look on your face!

You need to know her more than you know yourself… you should know what to do on her birthday or on your anniversary. What are the occasions she cherish the most..

You know what I mean!

MISTAKE #7: Not Getting HELP

This is the biggest mistake of all.

This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want.

I know, guys don't like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help.

Again its always good to discuss your issues and problems and seeking their advice. Even if you wanna know about a girl, only another girl can helo you out…

As they say “Behind a successful man there is always a woman”

If you’re a guy reading this.. its about time for a reality check.. and if you are a female reading this… Let me tell you lady this blogpost has been brought to you on explicit request of lots of females out there who really want guys to improve.. so no hard feelings!

I’m hitting the bed.. so much for my 1st post. I’ll keep you posted.